...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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