I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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