The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize