WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize