Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize