You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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