Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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