Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
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This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
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That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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