she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize