So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
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You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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