You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
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If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize