k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize