I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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