remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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