def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My vagina just recognized that song.
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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