cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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