i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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