his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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