i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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