Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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