There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize