I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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