im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize