are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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