If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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