i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize