you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
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So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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