you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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