My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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