im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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