even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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