ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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