Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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