I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
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