i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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