I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize