I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize