I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize