whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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