Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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