There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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