I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
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