I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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