Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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