Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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