Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
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You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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