Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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