Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
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And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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