I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You can't motorboat a personality
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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