I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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